1) Christian.
2) Gay.
3) Celibate.
And I’d burn every earthly possession I have, empty my bank accounts, quit my job, and terminate every relationship I have for a pill to change over—in a heartbeat—I’d walk away from that pyre buck-naked, unemployed, broke, but straight.
But unlike my heroes of my youth, my secret identity clings to me and I am forced to hide from what is called to be most loving, compassionate place on the planet—the church.
When the basis for the morality—including the forbidding of homosexual acts—is so poor to begin with…it is human-made…I find it impossible to see how charity work performed by Christians out-weighs the abuse doled out by the same hands.
That's a blog post everyone should read. Last year my alma mater was in the news because some college kids from there developed a website where they shared their stories about being gay while living in the church of christ community. The stories make clear the struggle and pain in their lives as they continue to be part of the only community they know and are expected to remain in: http://huqueerpress.com/
ReplyDeleteI will never know the depth of pain of GLBT folks who attend conservative churches, but there are some similarities in trying to attend church while agnostic or atheist, as you know. We're visiting a new church where my husband has come clean to the preacher about the two of us and that has gone well, (and he's said he won't let people turn us into projects) but I wonder if it's worth it to become friends with the church members at the cost of either being somewhat fake all the time or being a pariah at some point. I'd prefer to be somewhat candid and have far fewer friends than to maintain a false front for the duration. It just seems exhausting and not worth it. Though easier in some ways.
Although on a much, much lesser scale I can identify with his plight. I'm disgusted by the way people are treated in the name of Christianity. It breaks my heart for him that he wants to be a part of a community so badly that he denies himself his true identity. I've wondered how it feels to be homosexual and constantly barraged with what an abomination you are. I've wondered how they "sit amongst" the Christians who believe that being gay does equate to being a child molester. I can't imagine the heartbreak, the heartache and the guilt.
ReplyDeleteThis man looks in the mirror and hates what he sees and would give anything to change it. Why should he need to change something that harms no one else to be loved? It's so very sad.